Philadelphia, PA – After having attended his cousin’s wedding, a young man is convinced that some old people should just stay home.
“I’ve mostly thought old people were… well, older and wiser,” said the man. “Never been one to think that old people shouldn’t be in positions of authority just because they’re old.”
However, when a retired pastor took the microphone on Saturday night during the wedding reception, the man’s views changed.
“The old bald guy was trying to say grace but ended up giving a pointless sermon, slurring his words like he was half-asleep and half-drunk. He couldn’t even remember my cousin’s and the groom’s name,” said the man. “It was a bit like Sleepy Joe in many respects.”
The man had thought that the likes of Joe Biden were “exceptions” but now thinks many old people should be banned from podiums, pulpits, microphones and “just about anything that requires a modicum of coordination or responsibility”.
“I’m still willing to consider other views,” the man added, “I mean, old people weren’t always old, maybe they were always like that and those people shouldn’t say or touch anything let alone drive cars.”
The man’s siblings, in addition, think that Chinese girls shouldn’t try to look like K-pop stars “especially if they’re not that good looking and cos they’re not Korean”.
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