Washington DC – The US Navy announced on Monday the names of two future Ford-class aircraft carriers: the USS William J. Clinton (CVN-82) and USS George W. Bush (CVN-83).
“We lack any imagination for thinking up names, so we’re resorting to still-living former presidents who did the country no good,” said Navy spokesperson Lynn Fatberger. “Other than that, we could only think of Enterprise—everyone loves that name—but that’s already set for CVN-80.”
The US Navy, however, is willing to consider other options.
“We’re naming them after pervert presidents anyway,” added Fatberger, “so there is discussion to name one after former First Lady Michelle Obama. After all, the USS Dwight D. Eisenhower (CVN-69) is affectionately known as ‘Big Ike’ so the USS Michelle Obama could be ‘Big Mike’. It is a big ship.”
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