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Simian Practicalist

Unvaccinated Man Wonders Why the Sudden Heart Attack

Philadelphia, PA – An unvaccinated man suffered a mild heart attack over the weekend and was baffled as to the cause.


Jason Cheung, 37 and father of three children and two orange cats, is a non-smoker and is of healthy weight even if his diet can use fewer burgers and fries.


“I was at home and I suddenly felt dizzy and lightheaded and my chest hurt,” he said. “I went to the GP, the nurse measured my heart rate and BP and the next thing I know, I was in the ambulance speeding to the nearest ER.”


Cheung knows of people who have “died suddenly” since 2021 but he and his family are unvaccinated. “Maybe I got totally shed on, you know,” he said. “It’s a worry.”


At the ER, when queried specifically what he was doing, Cheung said that he was putting furniture together.


“Just bought something from IKEA for the children,” he said. “Maybe the parts were a little heavy, and the instructions were not quite clear enough, and that one of the Allen keys was missing. I don’t know, maybe it was IKEA after all.”


“It looks pretty easy, not sure why he’s having a heart attack over it,” said one of the cats. “Even I can use that bent metal thingy.”


Orange Cat
 

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