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Illinois Holocaust Museum to Demand Papers, Denies Illinois Nazis Connection

Simian Practicalist

From January 5, the Illinois Holocaust Museum & Education Center will ask visitors to show their papers in order to enhance their experience.


“We will require all guests and visitors to show their proof of COVID vaccination,” said spokesperson Hannah Schmidt. “This is not only for everyone’s health and safety but also for a more immersive experience regarding the holocaust.”


The center had considered asking for the proof of vaccination in German, but the team concluded that it “would probably be going a bit too far” and that most Americans are probably too “uncultured” to know German anyway.


At the announcement, rumors have circulated that the museum had been taken over by or are collaborating with the Illinois Nazis. The center denies such claims.


“We would never involve ourselves with the Illinois Nazis,” said Schmidt. “Not even for role-play. We have our own costumes and educational resources.”


A local resident did, however, witness the Illinois Nazis marching nearby. “I am not sure what their intentions were, but they practically got bowled over and off the bridge,” he said. “I hate Illinois Nazis.”


I hate Illinois Nazis.
 

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