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Simian Practicalist

Dog Denies Noise Complaint, Claims Being a “Middle-class Kid”

Philadelphia, PA – A dog in Swarthmore, Philadelphia, has answered noise complaints against him by declaring that he is “a middle-class kid”.


“Normally, I would deny it,” said Gerhard the German Shepherd, “I mean, we are known to be quiet enough. It’s just our neighbors are your typical stuck-up old people who complain about everything.”


Dog Denies Noise Complaint, Claims Being a “Middle-class Kid”

In the past, when local council inspectors came around, they would have nothing to report as Gerhard would be quiet or even make himself scarce.


However, Gerhard has changed tactics regarding the latest complaint.


“In case they don’t believe me, I’m just gonna identify as a middle-class baby goat,” he said with a massive sign around his neck. “I’m a dog who is only two years old, so that’s close enough.”


When asked what he may do next time the neighbours complain, Gerhard shrugged: “I’ll probably outlive them. Unless I get eaten first.”

 

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