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Simian Practicalist

Diddy Not Eating in Prison Due to Missing Special Ingredient

New York City, NY – Reports have been circulating that Sean “Diddy” Combs has been refusing to eat at the Metropolitan Detention Center in Brooklyn.


Diddy Not Eating in Prison Due to Missing Special Ingredient

It is suspected that he is being a fusspot since prison food is not very good or that he is afraid that the food is poisoned.


“He is definitely worried he’s gonna get Epsteined in some way, maybe even for real,” said someone close to Diddy on the condition of anonymity.


However, that is not the main reason even if he has been spoiled with “catered food at dem parties”.


“It’s mainly because he’s been denied all his lube and he needs it to help him swallow. Prison food is nasty.”


The Metropolitan Detention Center has defended its food for inmates, stating that it is provided by El Clinton Catering, a highly reputable and experienced company contracted to the city.

 

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