Country that Shutdown Nuclear Power Plants Wants Nuclear Weapons
- Simian Practicalist
- Feb 25
- 1 min read
Berlin, Germany – Germany’s next chancellor Friedrich Merz has floated the idea of maybe sorta acquiring nuclear weapons.
“We’ve been leeching off the US all this time,” said Merz, “and it looks like President Trump is not going let us get away with it so I guess we have to talk to the British and French about nukes. Who else is going to defend us?”
Johann, 45, a German expat living in Australia is disgusted.
“I’m sick of all the German-bashing in films and mainstream history: either we’re Nazi pigs or we’re retards, or both,” said Johann. “But we are totally retarded in this case. We phase out nuclear power but now we want nuclear weapons.”
Merz has stated that he doesn’t mind where the nukes come from as long they are “painted pink and handled either by a fat transwoman from Düsseldorf or a knife-wielding immigrant”.
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