Chickens: Latest Avian Flu “Totally Racist”

Atlanta, GA – Chickens across the USA have protested that the latest “avian flu” floating around is “totally racist”.

“Seriously, I don’t see other poultry or birds dropping dead,” said one hen, “not that many of us are dying either. The health authorities are racists too, they just wanna wipe us out.”

Other chickens are even more cynical.

“I think it’s engineered,” said another hen. “That’s the only explanation for why only we in white countries are targeted.”

The CDC, however, has issued a statement reassuring that the situation is being closely monitored: “There is no reason to panic until we figure out how to play the next plandemic and really screw with the egg supply. And there is no need for conspiracy theories, from humans or chickens.”

Poultry are also bawking and squawking in protest across Australia and the UK, those from the latter skeptical of calls for “more vaccines”.

Dr Con Greywash, an expert in virology, is cautiously optimistic: “I think we can maybe sorta blow this one out of proportion soon enough. If not, there’s always ebola. For now, I suggest to don’t panic but just kill every chicken out there, including any chicken plushies.”