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Simian Practicalist

California: Soy Sauce to Represent Diversity

Los Angeles, CA – The Californian government has officially announced soy sauce as the condiment that represents “diversity”.


“It’s a fluid and it’s black,” said Governor Gavin Newsom. “And it’s Asian too, can’t forget them.”


However, some in the Asian community are not impressed, especially given the recent ban on wok burners in order to cut carbon emissions.


California: Soy Sauce to Represent Diversity

“What it dur point ot making soy sauce special when we no allow to have wok?!” said Los Angeles Chinese Restaurant Association spokesperson Fuk Yu. “Newsom [should] go home and eat s—! I smash soy sauce bottle on his head!”


“At least they’re not messing with doenjang,” said Ahn Ji-eun, Director of Californian Korean Eateries Association. “Probably because it’s brown and can look like s— and these libtards love eating it straight out of each other’s asses.”


The governor’s office has not responded to further requests for comment, although a staff member did indicate that the governor and his team are busy diversifying abortion services in the state.

 

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