Washington DC – President Biden, in between naps while attending G20 in Indonesia, has requested a $37-billion aid package for Ukraine.
“We really need to… umm… give money to Zelensky so he will keep quiet about all the business we’ve done,” said Biden. “And for the war against the Soviets, of course, those damn russkies.”
When asked for clarification of what the package includes, Biden answered, “A bit of it is for humanitarian aid, but most of it is so they can launch stuff into Poland and then pretend the Russians did it. They’re not doing a good job at that so we need to give them more money. End of quote.”
The White House has declined to comment regarding the $2-million package labelled “Pelosi’s Grog”.
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