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Simian Practicalist

Australian Government: Massive Solar Farm Still a Good Idea

Australia Government: Massive Solar Farm Still a Good Idea

Darwin, Australia – It was recently reported that the $30-billion deal to build a massive solar farm in Northern Territory with a 4,200-kilometre subsea power cable to Singapore is off.


However, the Australian government has expressed optimism despite the setback.


“It was a private endeavor with Sun Cable,” said Chris Bowen, the Australian Minister for Climate Change and Energy. “But now that they’ve failed, maybe the government can step in. After all, we’re very good at selling our best to overseas instead of to our own people: beef, crayfish, minerals… why not solar power?”


The proposal is to proceed with the solar farm, but instead of “totally f—king up the seabed with a 4,200-kilometre power cable”, the plan is to screw up the environment differently.


The farm will continuously charge up tons and tons of lithium batteries which are then packed onto a fleet of ships built by South Korea that run on the usual heavy fuel oil. These ships will continuously transport the batteries to Singapore and then return to Australian ports empty.


As Australia is one of the biggest lithium producers in the world, it will produce the lithium. However, as a backward country full of lazy retards who are at least 50 years behind everyone else, the lithium will be shipped to Japan for battery production, then shipped back to Australia.


Meanwhile, for similar reasons, Australian crude oil will be transported to various parts of Asia for refinement, with some of it returning to Australia to fuel the fleet.


“It’s a bit like a solar-powered torch, but even more stupid,” said Australian Prime Minister Anthony Albanese.

 

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