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Australian Election: Guy Who Falls off Stage vs Ex-Cop Who Kicks Ball at Your Head

Sydney, Australia – With less than a month until the Australian Federal Election, Aussies’ choices have been complicated by recent revelations by the candidates.


“It’s no longer a simple choice between which freemason commie loser to vote for,” said Pete, 56, a resident of Sydney.


Many agree with that sentiment.


“It’s also a choice between an old guy who falls off the stage or an ex-copper who kicks a ball at your head,” said Jill, 45, mother of two.


A spokesperson for Prime Minister Anthony Albanese said that is “totally unfair” as he was simply “joking around trying to do a Biden impersonation”.


“Let’s not forget the PM is a champion of free speech, except for when people criticize knifings in a church and misogynistic content, especially if it’s against the Labor Party,” said the spokesperson.


Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky, after being reminded where Australia is, said that he is “fine with either candidate”.


“Both Albanese and Dutton indicated their continuing support for Ukraine, so that’s good. Please keep giving us stuff,” said Zelensky. “I hope they can put in a good word for me with President Trump too.”

 

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