Paris, France – Just like every other corporate entity, NATO has called a meeting regarding the dire situation in Ukraine.
However, the US has not been invited.
“We know the US is the biggest contributor to the alliance in every respect,” said a French official, “but we feel it’s important that we keep poking the bear without our big cousin, just cos we’re sick of poking cows and we really wanna poke a bear.”
The British agree.
“Oh yes, we don’t mind poking cows but it’s important to give Ukraine lots of… loans,” said a UK official, “I mean, most of us are too fat to fight, but we can talk things up and maybe send Ukraine a few expired tea bags… anything to make the mass human sacrifice a little easier.”
Australia and New Zealand will join the meeting remotely even though “it’s none of their frigging business”.
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