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Palpatine Renames Alderaan to “Gulf of It’s Just Space and Rocks Now”
Galactic Senate, Coruscant (GNS) – Imperial Maps has updated Alderaan to “Gulf of It’s Just Space and Rocks Now” after Emperor Palpatine...
Feb 121 min read
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Palpatine Dismisses and Recalls All Jedi
Galactic Senate, Coruscant (GNS) – Newly crowned emperor Palpatine is recalling all remaining Jedi throughout the galaxy. Palpatine had...
Feb 51 min read
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Palpatine Terminates Security Detail of the Entire Senate
Galactic Senate, Coruscant (GNS) – Merely days after being crowned emperor, Palpatine has terminated the security detail of all members...
Jan 281 min read
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FBI: Deadly Rebel Attack on Death Star “not related to Rebels”
Coruscant (GNS) – The FBI is still investigating the attack on the Death Star, describing it as “not related to Rebels”. Over 1.8 million...
Jan 31 min read
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Palpatine Considering Preemptive Pardons for Anakin Skywalker
Galactic Senate, Coruscant (GNS) – Chancellor Palpatine is considering blanket preemptive pardons for Jedi Anakin Skywalker. Sources...
Dec 9, 20241 min read
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The Ominous Owl #4
Welcome to the fourth entry by the Ominous Owl, the number that is truly ominous. At least for those who are afraid of death. That was a...
Oct 26, 20241 min read
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Anime Review: Mobile Suit Gundam
Classic sci-fi military mecha anime. Good worldbuilding and decent pacing for its time. Entertaining even if it is a merchandising tool.
Oct 23, 20248 min read
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Drama ● Review: The Acolyte
Clumsy plotting. Too many cringe moments. Jedi Master Squid Game carries the show.
Jul 18, 20244 min read
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Imperial Hostage Rescue Operation Leaves 274 Ewoks Dead
Endor (GNS) – Two days ago, the Empire carried out a military operation that rescued 4 stormtrooper hostages held by the Rebel Ewoks on...
Jun 11, 20241 min read
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Empire Denies Striking Ewok Camp
Endor (GNS) – The Empire has denied striking an Ewok camp on Tuesday after rebels claimed imperial stormtroopers and armor have killed at...
Jun 2, 20242 min read
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FAA Reveals Another Flaw in Death Star That Can Cause Explosion
Imperial Senate, Coruscant (GNS) – Another potentially disastrous flaw has been discovered on an imperial weapons platform. The imperial...
May 25, 20241 min read
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Animation Review: Star Wars – Tales of the Empire
Writing is a little clumsy. Looks very good even if one is not a fan of the visual style.
May 9, 20242 min read
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Animation ● Review: Star Wars – The Clone Wars
Basically an Ahsoka spin-off. Don’t expect too much. Do expect some cheese. Writing improves as the series progresses. Sufficiently amusing.
Apr 15, 20245 min read
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Palpatine Releases His First Election Campaign Ad
Galactic Senate, Coruscant (GNS) – Chancellor Palpatine on Friday launched his election campaign by releasing his first campaign ad. In...
Jan 8, 20241 min read
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Film ● Review: Rebel Moon – Part One: A Child of Fire
A rebel’s cheesy recruitment drive against evil imperial forces. Not totally cringe but only because I don’t expect much from Hack Snyder.
Dec 23, 20234 min read
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UN: Alderaan “on the brink of full-blown collapse”
New York City, NY – Alderaan is “on the brink of full-blown collapse” with civil order breaking down, according to the UN. It has been 66...
Dec 12, 20231 min read
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Senator Bibble: Optus Outage Signals Droid Invasion
Melbourne, Australia – Optus is still trying to determine the cause of today’s nation-wide outage of its mobile phone network and...
Nov 9, 20231 min read
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Jedi Master Who Wanted “Harsher Lockdown Policy” Asks for Forgiveness
Galactic Senate, Coruscant (GNS) – Jedi Master Anakin Skywalker appeared on a recent episode of Real Time with Jar Jar Binks alongside...
Oct 30, 20231 min read
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Palpatine Did Not See “Confirmed Pictures of Jedi Beheading Children”
Galactic Senate, Coruscant (GNS) – Chancellor Palpatine said on Wednesday that he had seen “confirmed pictures of Jedi beheading...
Oct 16, 20231 min read
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Empire Calls for Civilians to Leave Alderaan
Galactic Senate, Coruscant (GNS) – The Imperial Armed Forces on Friday called for all civilians of Alderaan, more than 2 billion people,...
Oct 13, 20231 min read
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Animation Review: Star Wars – Tales of the Jedi
Decent production. More for fans of Dooku and Ahsoka, although Dooku’s fall to the dark side is handled well.
Oct 12, 20232 min read
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