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Palpatine Renames Alderaan to “Gulf of It’s Just Space and Rocks Now”
Galactic Senate, Coruscant (GNS) – Imperial Maps has updated Alderaan to “Gulf of It’s Just Space and Rocks Now” after Emperor Palpatine...
Feb 121 min read
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Palpatine Terminates Security Detail of the Entire Senate
Galactic Senate, Coruscant (GNS) – Merely days after being crowned emperor, Palpatine has terminated the security detail of all members...
Jan 281 min read
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Palpatine Releases His First Election Campaign Ad
Galactic Senate, Coruscant (GNS) – Chancellor Palpatine on Friday launched his election campaign by releasing his first campaign ad. In...
Jan 8, 20241 min read
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Senator Bibble: Optus Outage Signals Droid Invasion
Melbourne, Australia – Optus is still trying to determine the cause of today’s nation-wide outage of its mobile phone network and...
Nov 9, 20231 min read
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Palpatine: All Jedi Who Died Suddenly a Coincidence
Galactic Senate, Coruscant (GNS) – The numerous Jedi who died suddenly on Sunday was a coincidence according to Chancellor Palpatine. “It...
Jan 30, 20231 min read
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FBI Raids Palpatine Residence
Galactic Senate, Coruscant (GNS) – The FBI raided the home and office of Supreme Chancellor Palpatine on Monday night. The Department of...
Aug 10, 20221 min read
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Galactic Supreme Court to Hear Palpatine Vaccine Mandate Challenge
Galactic Senate, Coruscant (GNS) – The Galactic Supreme Court agreed on Wednesday to take up disputes over the Palpatine administration’s...
Dec 23, 20212 min read
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Jar Jar Binks Proposes Unlimited Power to Premier Dan Andrews
Melbourne, Australia – Representative Jar Jar Binks has proposed an amendment to the Public Health and Wellbeing Act which will grant...
Oct 30, 20211 min read
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Emperor Palpatine Defends Chaotic Endor Withdrawal
Imperial Senate, Coruscant (GNS) – Emperor Palpatine has hailed the “extraordinary success” of the imperial withdrawal from Endor.
Sep 1, 20212 min read
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Emperor Palpatine Auditioned for MK
Hollywood, CA – The trailer for the upcoming Mortal Kombat live-action film was released on Friday and it has been revealed that Emperor...
Feb 21, 20211 min read
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Palpatine Defunds the Jedi
Galactic Senate, Coruscant (GNS) – Chancellor Palpatine has officially defunded the Jedi as part of the re-organization of the Republic...
Dec 28, 20201 min read
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