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The Ominous Owl #4
Welcome to the fourth entry by the Ominous Owl, the number that is truly ominous. At least for those who are afraid of death. That was a...
Oct 26, 20241 min read
4
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Dog Denies Noise Complaint, Claims Being a “Middle-class Kid”
Philadelphia, PA – A dog in Swarthmore, Philadelphia, has answered noise complaints against him by declaring that he is “a middle-class kid”
Oct 4, 20241 min read
3
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Boy Fails Test despite Being a “Middle-class kid”
San Francisco, CA – After having been awarded for “attempting” every test question in fourth grade, Jake of Wakeham Elementary School has...
Sep 29, 20241 min read
4
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Walz: Good to Shove Tampon Up Truck Exhaust
St Paul, MN – Tim Walz, the Democrat nominee for vice president in the 2024 US presidential election, has demonstrated that he is just...
Sep 24, 20241 min read
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Tulsi Gabbard Gets Plastered to Help Trump Debate Preparation
Herndon, VA – Former Democrat Tulsi Gabbard has been helping President Donald Trump prepare for his first presidential debate against...
Sep 6, 20241 min read
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McDonald’s Releases New McKamala Burger
Washington DC – To celebrate US Vice President Kamala Harris’s claims of working at McDonald’s in her youth whilst living in Canada, the...
Aug 30, 20241 min read
8
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Harris Buys Fried Chicken
Washington DC – US Vice President Kamala Harris on Saturday visited a local fried chicken shop and walked out with a big twelve-piece...
Aug 5, 20241 min read
6
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Macron Pushes Online Child Protection so They Can Marry Someone 24 Years Older Properly
Paris, France – French President Emmanuel Macron has announced reforms for online child safety. “We have to protect our children on the...
Nov 13, 20221 min read
7
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White House Sewage Pipe Explosions Will Not Stop Sh** Supply
Washington DC – White House staff announced on Thursday morning that there was a “significant” drop in the flowrate through one of the...
Oct 14, 20222 min read
8
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Democrats: Reboot 90 Day Fiancé to Get More Migrants
New York City, NY – The Democrats have called for a reboot of the reality show 90 Day Fiancé. “Well… uhh… I think 90 days is too long,”...
Oct 10, 20221 min read
6
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Biden-Harris Administration Announces Educator Recruitment from Ukraine
Washington DC – On Wednesday, the Biden-Harris administration announced a $130-billion “rescue plan” to hire more teachers for American...
Sep 1, 20221 min read
3
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Biden: Employment Figures Up from 2 to 10!
Washington DC – President Joe Biden said on Friday that his economic plan is “going according to plan”. “The Labor Department reported...
Jul 10, 20221 min read
7
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WA Premier McClowan: “I wasn’t trying to be racist”
Perth, WA – WA Premier Mark McClowan has denied his speaking vewy slowly and the use of an indigenous Australian to translate his message...
Jan 14, 20221 min read
12
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Biden Administration Announces New Social Media Platform
Washington DC – Seemingly in response to Donald Trump announcing the Trump Media and Technology Group (TMTG), the White House has...
Nov 14, 20211 min read
11
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Photocopier Shortage Alarm
Kamala Harris, not surprisingly, doesn’t want more restrictive laws for voter ID. That makes sense since that may make it harder for dead...
Jul 10, 20211 min read
8
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With COVID and Progressivism, There’s No Need to Imagine Communism
With communism, if you’re fortunate enough to be at the top, then you have all the power.
Jan 25, 20216 min read
6
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