CDC Director Dr Rochelle Walensky tested positive for COVID-19 again on Sunday after having received five doses of the vaccine and...

It's been too long, but here are cards 21–24!

New York City, NY – Given the increasing threat of nuclear war, Pfizer has announced that it will manufacture and supply countries with...

Even as early ballots arrive via the mail for the Arizona governor’s election, democrat Katie Hobbs has yet to debate republican Kari...

Washington DC – White House staff announced on Thursday morning that there was a “significant” drop in the flowrate through one of the...

New York City, NY – The Democrats have called for a reboot of the reality show 90 Day Fiancé. “Well… uhh… I think 90 days is too long,”...

Sacramento, CA – Governor Gavin Newsom has denied that his approval of AB2098 has anything to do with impeding free speech or ushering in...

St Paul, MN – Re-re-reformed Lutheran Church excommunicated a female vocalist on Sunday, the first of such a case in the congregation....

Los Angeles, CA – A man wore a light-sensitive badge that acts as a counter for photos so he can limit the number of photos taken of him...

Melbourne, Australia – Doctors in Australia are baffled by the one-day surge of COVID cases on Friday. “It’s a real mystery,” said Dr...

Los Angeles, CA – A local resident almost set his house on fire after setting alight his entire eight-piece set of LED candles. “My wife...

Oklahoma City, OK – Senator Elizabeth Warren is claiming the British throne on the day of the funeral of Queen Elizabeth II. “Lizzy the...

Washington DC – Nancy Pelosi is drunk and angry at something Trump did. Again. “Trump and his lies!” she said. “There was no election...

Washington DC – Joe Biden has announced that he is still alive and well. “I’m… I’m healthy and awake,” he said, “and I have two arms that...

Washington DC – Hillary Clinton has revealed the reason she wears pantsuit even though most people can guess anyway. “It’s really to hide...

Washington DC – On Wednesday, the Biden-Harris administration announced a $130-billion “rescue plan” to hire more teachers for American...

Washington DC – Given the recent news of two individuals who pleaded guilty to the theft and sale of Ashley Biden’s diary, disturbing...

Detroit, MI – A local presbyterian church has produced a heavily redacted version of the bible. “Just because protestants killed off a...

The White House has clarified that Biden is not vacationing again, he’s just redacting his presidency a bit.

Atlanta, GA – Nearly eighteen months after the rollout of the COVID-19 vaccines in the US, a Georgian judge has unsealed parts of the...

Vatican City – Pope Fauci will step down in December, following the footsteps of Benedict XVI who resigned in 2013. “While I will no...