Galactic Senate, Coruscant (GNS) – Merely days after being crowned emperor, Palpatine has terminated the security detail of all members...

New York City, NY – A Chinese family has terminated its diversity policy regarding dinner. By “family” is meant the husband and father...

Washington DC – The US Navy announced on Monday the names of two future Ford -class aircraft carriers: the USS William J. Clinton ...

Los Angeles, CA – A new play set is to be released to capitalize on the raging mid-winter wildfires. “My First False Flag Wildfire” comes...

Washington DC – President Biden awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom to 19 individuals on Saturday, recognizing the utmost...

Coruscant (GNS) – The FBI is still investigating the attack on the Death Star, describing it as “not related to Rebels”. Over 1.8 million...

Washington DC – President Joe Biden has commuted the death sentences of 37 out of 40 individuals. “Make no mistake: I condemn these...

Philadelphia, PA – After having attended his cousin’s wedding, a young man is convinced that some old people should just stay home. “I’ve...

Washington DC – President Joe Biden announced on Thursday that in addition to commuting the sentences of about 1,500 individuals, he will...

New York City, NY – Following Predator’s not guilty verdict in the high-profile case, some have commented regarding the safety...

Washington DC – ED-209 fell down stairs on Tuesday during its lunchtime patrol, sustaining “scratches to its body and minor damage to its...

Galactic Senate, Coruscant (GNS) – Chancellor Palpatine is considering blanket preemptive pardons for Jedi Anakin Skywalker. Sources...

Sydney, Australia – A man who was binging on K-drama early on Wednesday morning thought news of the martial law declaration in South...

Philadelphia, PA – A man decided to rip out his horizontal blinds, clean the windows and install new curtains. His wife thought he did it...

Welcome to the fourth entry by the Ominous Owl, the number that is truly ominous. At least for those who are afraid of death. That was a...

New York City, NY – A toilet in New York has accused former President Donald Trump of inappropriately touching its face with his bare...

Coachella, CA – In the aftermath of a man arrested outside of his campaign rally for using fake VIP credentials and possessing multiple...

Washington DC – Homeland Security Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas told reporters FEMA does not have sufficient funding beyond any “immediate...

Washington DC – Senator Lindsey Graham responded to the aftermath of Hurricane Helene, stating that “the devastation is just...

Philadelphia, PA – A dog in Swarthmore, Philadelphia, has answered noise complaints against him by declaring that he is “a middle-class kid”

San Francisco, CA – After having been awarded for “attempting” every test question in fourth grade, Jake of Wakeham Elementary School has...