New York City, NY – A toilet in New York has accused former President Donald Trump of inappropriately touching its face with his bare...

Coachella, CA – In the aftermath of a man arrested outside of his campaign rally for using fake VIP credentials and possessing multiple...

Washington DC – Homeland Security Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas told reporters FEMA does not have sufficient funding beyond any “immediate...

Washington DC – Senator Lindsey Graham responded to the aftermath of Hurricane Helene, stating that “the devastation is just...

Philadelphia, PA – A dog in Swarthmore, Philadelphia, has answered noise complaints against him by declaring that he is “a middle-class kid”

San Francisco, CA – After having been awarded for “attempting” every test question in fourth grade, Jake of Wakeham Elementary School has...

New York City, NY – Reports have been circulating that Sean “Diddy” Combs has been refusing to eat at the Metropolitan Detention Center...

St Paul, MN – Tim Walz, the Democrat nominee for vice president in the 2024 US presidential election, has demonstrated that he is just...

The charges of racketeering and conspiracy for being a total pervert against rapper Sean “Diddy” Combs have shocked many but not all....

Springfield, OH – Ohio, home to many professional sports teams, will get another one. The Springfield Voodoo will debut this year. There...

Given all the surveillance and monitoring on (and off) the internet, it is imperative to keep your social credit score up. It is best to...

Herndon, VA – Former Democrat Tulsi Gabbard has been helping President Donald Trump prepare for his first presidential debate against...

Washington DC – In response to criticisms of confusing IVF and IUI, Democratic nominee for vice president Tim Walz defended his position...

Washington DC – To celebrate US Vice President Kamala Harris’s claims of working at McDonald’s in her youth whilst living in Canada, the...

Los Angeles, CA – From the company that brought “My First False Flag Government Building Storming” and “My First Vaccine Adverse Event”,...

Washington DC – Federal agencies such as the FBI and Homeland Security are recruiting for their “special operations” divisions. “In...

Washington DC – US Vice President Kamala Harris on Saturday visited a local fried chicken shop and walked out with a big twelve-piece...

PG County, MD – President Joe Biden boarded the wrong plane on Thursday after welcoming home Americans as part of the American-Russian...

Philadelphia, PA – A man has been given a warning by the police after his “misuse” of the Violence Against Women Hotline. After seeing a...

Welcome to the third entry by the Ominous Owl.

Pennsylvania, PA – Jason Chan, a fifth grader at Slope View Elementary School, is typically forced to go to school even when he has a...