Man Thought South Korean Martial Law Part of K-drama
Sydney, Australia – A man who was binging on K-drama early on Wednesday morning thought news of the martial law declaration in South...
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Nov 221 min read
Man Cleans Windows and Installs New Curtains for Three Days of Darkness
Philadelphia, PA – A man decided to rip out his horizontal blinds, clean the windows and install new curtains. His wife thought he did it...
30
Oct 261 min read
The Ominous Owl #4
Welcome to the fourth entry by the Ominous Owl, the number that is truly ominous. At least for those who are afraid of death. That was a...
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Oct 261 min read
Toilet Accuses Trump of Inappropriately Touching Its Face
New York City, NY – A toilet in New York has accused former President Donald Trump of inappropriately touching its face with his bare...
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Oct 141 min read
Trump Faces Dilemma to Collect More Assassination Attempt Badges
Coachella, CA – In the aftermath of a man arrested outside of his campaign rally for using fake VIP credentials and possessing multiple...
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Oct 61 min read
Mayorkas: FEMA Needs More Money to Stop People Doing Anything
Washington DC – Homeland Security Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas told reporters FEMA does not have sufficient funding beyond any “immediate...
50
Oct 41 min read
Lindsey Graham: Must Help Hurricane Victims by Helping Israel
Washington DC – Senator Lindsey Graham responded to the aftermath of Hurricane Helene, stating that “the devastation is just...
100
Oct 41 min read
Dog Denies Noise Complaint, Claims Being a “Middle-class Kid”
Philadelphia, PA – A dog in Swarthmore, Philadelphia, has answered noise complaints against him by declaring that he is “a middle-class kid”
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Sep 291 min read
Boy Fails Test despite Being a “Middle-class kid”
San Francisco, CA – After having been awarded for “attempting” every test question in fourth grade, Jake of Wakeham Elementary School has...
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Sep 261 min read
Diddy Not Eating in Prison Due to Missing Special Ingredient
New York City, NY – Reports have been circulating that Sean “Diddy” Combs has been refusing to eat at the Metropolitan Detention Center...
110
Sep 241 min read
Walz: Good to Shove Tampon Up Truck Exhaust
St Paul, MN – Tim Walz, the Democrat nominee for vice president in the 2024 US presidential election, has demonstrated that he is just...
50
Sep 191 min read
Asian Metalhead Glad a Rapper Is Finally Arrested
The charges of racketeering and conspiracy for being a total pervert against rapper Sean “Diddy” Combs have shocked many but not all....
70
Sep 181 min read
Ohio to Get New Team: Springfield Voodoo
Springfield, OH – Ohio, home to many professional sports teams, will get another one. The Springfield Voodoo will debut this year. There...
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Sep 83 min read
How to Keep Your Social Credit Score Up
Given all the surveillance and monitoring on (and off) the internet, it is imperative to keep your social credit score up. It is best to...
80
Sep 61 min read
Tulsi Gabbard Gets Plastered to Help Trump Debate Preparation
Herndon, VA – Former Democrat Tulsi Gabbard has been helping President Donald Trump prepare for his first presidential debate against...
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Sep 11 min read
Timmy Not Confused with Letters of the Alphabet
Washington DC – In response to criticisms of confusing IVF and IUI, Democratic nominee for vice president Tim Walz defended his position...
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Aug 301 min read
McDonald’s Releases New McKamala Burger
Washington DC – To celebrate US Vice President Kamala Harris’s claims of working at McDonald’s in her youth whilst living in Canada, the...
80
Aug 241 min read
My First, and Maybe Last, Boeing Flight
Los Angeles, CA – From the company that brought “My First False Flag Government Building Storming” and “My First Vaccine Adverse Event”,...
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Aug 181 min read
Federal Agencies Recruiting Those Who Can Hit Targets, Not Practice, Like, 43 Times and Still Miss
Washington DC – Federal agencies such as the FBI and Homeland Security are recruiting for their “special operations” divisions. “In...
30
Aug 51 min read
Harris Buys Fried Chicken
Washington DC – US Vice President Kamala Harris on Saturday visited a local fried chicken shop and walked out with a big twelve-piece...
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Aug 41 min read
Fake President Boards Wrong Plane, Ends Up in Wrong Fake Office
PG County, MD – President Joe Biden boarded the wrong plane on Thursday after welcoming home Americans as part of the American-Russian...
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